I don’t like labels. I only use this word to get to the point of the matter right away.
Here’s my point.
Would a person ever walk one of the hardest paths in life because it was interesting or fun? No.
According to the bible, we are not to judge one another. It’s not our job. We are to mind ourselves.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:1-5
I don’t usually stick my neck out in this area, but I feel the need to say something for some reason.
I’ve seen a lot of people struggle in life because they are “different.” That “difference” has been such a heavy burden because it is condemned by so many. I don’t think anyone would choose that path willingly.
In an anthropology course in college, we were taught that in Native American tribes, it was common that around 10% of the group didn’t naturally align with the usual “male” and “female” definitions. Different tribes had different names for these people, and they weren’t looked down on. I haven’t seen the research that backs all of that, so I can’t vouch for its accuracy.
What I can say is that I was deeply moved by the first in-depth story I heard about the life of someone who felt trapped in their own body – Bruce Jenner. You may have seen his interview(s) with Diane Sawyer as he was transitioning to becoming Caitlyn Jenner. I saw the first one and I now realize there are many, so I will watch the others soon as well.
It was beyond emotionally captivating. I instantly had deep compassion and deep respect for this person with a household name who was willing to take on mountainous, devastating, worldwide criticism in order to walk the path he (now she) needed to walk.
I think some people think that all of this is just some flawed mental state to be critiqued and judged. But there’s so much underlying biology that people can’t see.
Those biological underpinnings remind me of another course I took in college about the anthropology of hermaphroditism – the intersex condition described in Wikipedia as “individuals born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that, according to the UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights, ‘do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies.'”
Can you imagine the mental anguish of being born unlike anyone else around you in these ways – sometimes painfully obvious ways? I wasn’t born with these “differences,” but if I had been, I would long for the world to care for rather than attack me. To trust me rather than condemn me. To hold my hand rather than mock me.
Last year while homeschooling, we stumbled upon a documentary on Netflix called 9 Months That Made You. We had no idea what we were about to see, and in the second episode we learned about a village in the Dominican Republic in which 1 out of every 90 boys is born without a penis due to certain irregularities in hormone and enzyme levels in the womb. They are raised as girls until puberty, when testosterone levels surge and male anatomy begins to grow. It’s an extremely rare condition elsewhere in the world, but it’s so common in this province that it’s accepted by the people. So much so that these kids are called “güevedoces,” which means “penis at twelve.”
The documentary highlights a girl named Carla who is ready to make her transition publicly official. She decides to get a haircut with her cousin, who transitioned before she did but still goes by the name Catherine. Carla comes out of the barber shop a new boy. The next day at school, the teacher makes an announcement: “From now on, this girl is going to be a boy. He is a boy. You must respect him and call him Carlos. Be friendly and don’t make fun of him. Now you all know this so if you don’t do as I say, you’ll be punished.”
There’s so much we can’t see. Everything isn’t black or white, girl or boy, gay or straight for that matter. Biology is showing us the spectrum that exists in areas we used to think were just a person’s flawed choice.
On the other hand, things are getting out of hand in schools and in the media. It’s gone from a secret, hidden, humiliating issue to one that is flaunted, oversexualized, and pushed on boys and girls. While some families and members of society are intolerant to those who need to be heard, schools and the media are going too far the other way, which makes trans a thing that every kid then thinks they need to figure out for themselves. We live in the land of extremes. Kids with authentic differences just know when they have feelings that don’t match what they see in the mirror. Kids know from day one if they have obvious biology that doesn’t jibe with the title they’re given. Instead of publicizing it as something each child needs to consider and toy with, we just need to understand that some people are not born the same as others.
I’ve heard more than one public school parent here on the island say that they thought drugs and alcohol would be the issues their kids would need to resist in high school, but instead they were shocked to see their kids heavily question their gender when they didn’t even need to. It’s pervasive, unnecessary, and confusing for kids.
I don’t speak for any individual, any group, any church, or any other Christian when I write all of this. I speak my own thoughts. In addition, I want to make it clear that calling oneself “Christian” doesn’t mean becoming a robot who blindly accepts “rules” without thought. In the same way that I don’t like society’s connotations of the label “trans,” I don’t like society’s connotations of the label “Christian.” Following God and reading the bible mean thinking deeply about so many issues and wrestling with a lot of things, sometimes for a lifetime. Christians aren’t a group of people who are perfectly aligned with each other and totally removed from society in a quiet “club” mentality. We all aim to follow the bible’s teachings, some more than others, but each one of us has very different ways we understand those teachings and live them out. When Christians are living out those teachings, they’re basically aiming to incorporate more of Jesus into them. Jesus paramountly teaches love.
Following Christ is an individual path that must always entail loving others more, judging others less, and choosing to continually grow personally every day, guided by love. Following Jesus means loving one another.
That’s our job on earth.
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:34
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:35
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:10
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8
Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.
2 Corinthians 13:11
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:12
Wow! So well written and so right on. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Mary!
Edee, for thousands of years people have been ‘trapped’ in the person they were born with. Now, due to advances in medicine and surgical techniques, people can do crazy things. That anthropology class(and classes like it) may have been the genesis for the notion that ‘those poor people should be helped’. The creator arranged for people to be who they are…. maybe for a reason! Life is supposed to be hard. You can’t always get what you want…. Statistically, the TRANS suicide rate is 50%. I suspect the other 50% regret the decision. So, the problem appears to be a mental one. Changing genders doesn’t help. As for hermaphrodites, that appears to be some sort of mutation, maybe toxic waste or radiation. I haven’t seen the research that backs all of that, so I can’t vouch for its accuracy. Adults would feel sympathy for people who were stuck with that. People who choose the easy way out, maybe not so much. You are certainly correct when you say “things are getting out of hand in schools and in the media”. Do you think Bruce is happier now? No. The problem is his mind, nothing else. Whit if when he dies and goes back to the creator, the creator says “I do not know you”. Oops! Maybe our Job on earth is to condemn sin, even if it means not being a cheerleader for the mentally ill.
Hmmm. Interesting. Hard to know whether God arranged for people to be who they are or, due to free will factoring in and causing consequences that weren’t part of God’s original design, life played out as it did. We all sin. Yes, we should condemn it, but not other people as a whole. I do know that our job isn’t to judge: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” As we all know, it can take a lifetime to remove “the plank” from our own eyes, so in a way I think it’s basically saying we’ll never get to the point of removing someone else’s “speck.” Mom told me one time a long time ago that Jack asked Dad something like, “Why do you think God would want anyone to be gay?” (Jack was feeling compassion for gay people.) Dad replied something like, “To see how other people choose to treat them.”