One of the worst emotional choices I can make these days is deciding to open Facebook. I used to go there now and then to see how friends were doing and what people’s thoughts about different things were. Now, the atmosphere is so hyperinflamed that I can feel sickened after a few minutes.
People are accusing each other, sometimes mildly and sometimes wildly. People are causing fractures without even realizing it. People are implying others are crazy. Some people are blasting their personal beliefs about politics, masks, Trump, Biden, and God as though they are absolutes. A few times, some posts by Christians have been about as un-Christian as it gets. A lot of people are basically valuing alienating each other, and spending inordinate amounts of time in the pursuit of it.
The effect of a newspaper article or news program often isn’t as heavy as the effect of a Facebook post that pops up unexpectedly and sickens its readers. The closer we are to someone, the more their words invariably affect us. I am constantly challenged to fight the urge to assume that I am an alien in my own family, my own church, my own town, my own country, even my own planet.
It’s ironic that at a time when we need embracing the most – literally and figuratively – people are taking comfort in opining against each other instead. In the past five months, we’ve had to physically remove ourselves from each other’s lives to prevent the pandemic’s spread. In that time, I think I’ve experienced only five hugs from people outside of my small family. We don’t have extended family nearby, so that lack of touch is detrimental for me. I’m sure it is for you, too. So to hop on Facebook and quietly observe the opinions relentlessly being stated, spouted, even spewed is overwhelming when I simply sought to look at photos of relatives or watch something that makes me laugh.
Sometimes opinionated posts take me to the brink of my composure and I have to maintain the self-control not to respond. Sometimes I’m tempted to speed-type every last opinion I have, but I don’t. Sometimes my mind responds silently, frustratedly, toward someone whose posts I’m reading, and on the inside I become the very kind of person I’m bristling at, and I have to give myself a good talking to.
Yes, there’s a lot to feel right now. Yes, it’s imperative to stand up for what you feel is right, especially if others aren’t. But the redundancy of certain kinds of posts and opinions has reached a point that is tremendously unhealthy. Not to mention the chunks of time people are choosing to spend endlessly stating those opinions rather than reading to their kids or calling a lonely relative.
The bible is packed with warnings about worshiping false gods. In biblical times, there were actual idols with names that people bowed down to, sacrificed to, etc. These days, following a false god often has less to do with adoring a named being and more to do with how we spend our time and money. The choices we make show us what we are devoted to. Social media has already been the idol of this age for many years, but the explosive stating of opinions has taken idol worship to a whole new level.
I know people are seeking comfort on Facebook. In these crazy times, they want to be reassured, stroked, noticed, cared for. But to claim Christianity and post something that will get liked by half its readers and cause a sickening feeling for the rest of the week in the other half doesn’t exactly advance one’s cause (or Jesus’s either).
There are a handful of people I’d like to block so that I never have to see their opinions again, but blocking can be a cruel message, especially in sensitive times like these. And what I know in my heart is that many of the people whose posts I can’t stand are the same people I’ve experienced wonderful times with. You may understand this – the same people whose posts you despise are the people you’ve laughed with in town, conversed with at school, hugged in church, or cried with in bible study. It’s extremely hard to hold anything against someone when you get to see their full humanity. In person, you can’t help but feel care for other people. Online, we only see the acute shards someone is expressing about their personality; we don’t experience the soft, round, complete bubble of what makes them who they are.
What’s hard is that we can’t just take a walk into town and soak up all that wonderful humanity right now. Sometimes the only thing we see or experience about a person is their opinionated posts on Facebook. I work every day at fighting the temptation to believe those people have become ugly monsters that I no longer know. I have to remember and trust what I know in my heart – that people, in general, are good. I’ve learned that over and over through life, so I must hold onto that in times when I have no physical proof standing in front of me, or hugging me in a wonderful embrace on a happy, sunny day at the Farmers Market.
When the outside world is quiet and people are holed up inside typing their estranging opinions for all to see, readers begin losing faith in each other. We must not lose faith in each other. We must choose to express our love for one another more than we choose to express our opinions about the world’s problems. Humans – especially Christians who know the bible – are called to unity, not division. We are called to hold our tongues (keypads), and called to raise each other up. We are called to commune with God exponentially more than we are called to get on the Internet.
To the person who feels the need to opine, there will always be someone who agrees with your opinions, whether they are right, wrong, grounded, or wacky. Take comfort in knowing you are never alone, never solitary.
To the person who sorely needs encouragement, Facebook can’t hold a candle to God. If you feel uncertain, open up the bible and you’ll find hope. If you feel lonely, open up the bible and you’ll find strength. If you need the reassuring warmth of community, call someone who loves and supports you.
May Facebook friends relinquish the god of opining and go live life lovingly, abundantly, and encouragingly.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths (keypads), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues (typing).
Proverbs 10:19
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue (iPhone) of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
The tongue (post) that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue (post) crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4
…brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
So beautifully stated. Articulate and easily understood. Thanks for this, Edee.
Thank you, Marsha!
Edeo, you are not alone, sister!
I feel like I have to put my whole being in a defensive posture as I am opening Facebook or any social media source. Maybe that’s what the armor verses meant? (Eph6:13-18)
Anyway, I have noticed lately that I am getting more reluctant to respond to people who forward stuff from other sources, especially anonymous claims without references. I don’t go to Facebook for education, anyway, I go there for community.
(and there are more reliable educational sources than social media platforms, in my opinion).
If someone writes personally or asks for discussion, I am much more willing to engage.
I would also like to remind you that there is more to the internet than Facebook. I just discovered Reddit, for example, where groups have formed around all kinds of topics. What is interesting is that the group behavior varies wildly based on the topic (as you can imagine, the r/AskBibleScholars group I recently joined has a different tone than pop culture groups, ha!)
So, give Facebook a glance every now and then just to keep in touch with your friends and family, but go exploring other places, too!!!
Good ideas, Jack. Thanks!
So very eloquently put, Edee. It is interesting to see how some people on Facebook believe that their opinions are fact, are much more valid than those of others, and think that by expressing them they are going to change others minds about their own belief systems. If more people would spend time with their loved ones, especially their children, we might have far fewer problems in our society.