In Your Eyes

Christian radio music has never been my thing. I tried. Hard.

I started reading the bible at 29, I got married at 30, and we had our first child when I was 31.

When I started an intentional journey to follow God’s guidance, I immediately began to examine all of the influences in my life. There wasn’t anything all that egregious, but the lyrics in typical radio music are pretty crappy, so I weeded it out right away. I was more interested in washing my brain with scripture than with the recirculating shallowness of songs stuck in my head.

Though I hadn’t cared for the little bit of Christian music I had heard before, I started to give Christian radio stations a chance. Because I had this new life to raise, I wanted all of the purest influences in his world too. I aimed to be the best example I could be, and the best filter of life’s stuff for him – only the good, the pure, the innocent, and the kind things were the ones I allowed in his sphere.

He grew up on Baby Mozart, Baby Einstein, and books galore from the library. Our life together was beautiful, love-filled, heavy on education and nature exploration, and totally void of inappropriate media.

I tried so hard at the Christian radio thing that it wasn’t until our son was about 11 years old that he heard a regular radio station. Actually, I had all the Christian stations programmed in the car but we didn’t drive much and when we did, we’d usually not listen to the radio at all.

I finally changed the buttons to regular radio stations because a decade or so of instrumental piano, harp, and guitar CDs at home made a craving in me to hear other music I liked. I had intentionally sheltered us, but I was ready to sing along to songs I grew up with, and to reinstate music as the important thing it had always been in my life.

Technology provided exponentially more music to choose from than before our son’s birth, so it was nice to not be reliant on what the radio stations chose for us anymore. I could filter and still have gobs of musical choices.

Now at 14, our son fortunately loves electronic music and doesn’t think highly of the inappropriate stuff that’s so accessible on every form of media. He also loves technology, and he thoroughly appreciates sound booming from high-quality speakers. (I do too!) Our lives are filled with his playlist of music, which is oh-so-upbeat and danceable. I interrupt here and there in order to belt out “Nightingale” along with Norah Jones.

A few weeks ago, our son found a brand-new-looking Amazon Echo at The Exchange and bought it for $5. I can’t believe how it has revolutionized dishwashing for me! I love that with soapy hands I can ask it to play any song I think up, or read me chapters and chapters of the bible. I don’t have to dry off or push any buttons. I know, I sound like a granny.

This morning I listened to several songs over and over that I’ve loved at different times in my life, and I like to insert my own God meaning into some of them even if they weren’t written with that intent. Perhaps that’s my way around the whole Christian music thing.

Take, for instance, In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. I’ve probably listened to that song hundreds of times in my life. Look at the words – they’re very God-oriented, if you ask me…

Accepting all I’ve done and said
I want to stand and stare again
‘Til there’s nothing left out, oh
It remains there in your eyes
Whatever comes and goes
I will hear your silent call
And I will touch this tender wall
‘Til I know I’m home again, oh

In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes

Love, I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light the heat I see

In your eyes

Love, I don’t like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

And all my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light, the heat I see

In your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes

Or for a modern version…

I find it interesting that a song that may not have been written with God in mind is so God-longing in many ways.

God never allowed himself to be seen face-to-face by anyone; it’s only via Jesus in the New Testament that people “saw” God’s face. The closest anyone came before that was Moses in the Old Testament. God showed him his back…

Then Moses said, ‘Now show me your glory.’

And the Lord said, ‘I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence…But,’ he said, ‘you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.’

Then the Lord said, ‘There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.’

Exodus 33:18-23

I love it when I find songs that long for things that seem God-inspired when even the writer may not realize it.

Here’s a man, craving as Moses did, to connect with the ultimate giver of love. (Even if he thought of his ultimate giver at the time to be Rosanna Arquette!)

This was painted by a an 8-year-old girl named Akiane Kramarik who is now 25. It’s called Prince of Peace and her story of growing up is captivatingly unusual.

Here’s our dog, photographed in similar lighting. Random, I know.